I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
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I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
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