I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
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i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
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She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.