he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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