i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
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And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
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Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.