is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent