So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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