Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
