if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
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