I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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