but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.