oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Some milfs here doing some blow
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.