I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.