I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize