found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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