Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize