Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
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