This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Just invented taco cereal.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
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Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
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THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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