Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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