If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize