dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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