help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize