I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
