I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
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