Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I just want nice things and good sex
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
