Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
