No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
