then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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