Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize