There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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