she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
