I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
