Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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