i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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