he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
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