very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
