yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Randomize
