I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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