I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
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Champagne is a vitamin, right?
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
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When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
You blew him?!?!
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.