If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something