I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize