nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
