i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
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If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
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My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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