The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
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