I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
