we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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