oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
