My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
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