we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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