just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
either way he was missing a nipple.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
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he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
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