GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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