He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
