her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Green mimosas i think yes
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
