I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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