I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
too bad you live with your parents still
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
