Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Randomize
